Archive for the 'Tragic Whale Stories' Category

Retiring the blog?

I have some exciting news! / Not such exciting news if you love this blog. It’s retiring! I’ve been working on a new website (www.TheTragicWhale.com) and it has a blog element. And a store element. And an events element. And all the elements I’ve been trying to manage across several different platforms! So, this is it for updates here. It’s been a fun (nearly) 9 years, and thank you so much for joining me on it.

Kendra’s Library

Recently, my friend Kendra sent me a suggestion for a new whale story. And this is what came of it:

Kendra’s Library… A Tragic Whale Story

Like any intelligent whale, Kendra was always looking for ways to expand her knowledge and better herself.  And what better way than to petition for a library in her town?!

But she was unable to gain support in her community.
“We don’t have money in the budget,” one town official said.
“We could barely afford this new neon sign pointing towards the town hall,” said another.
“It will never be!” said a third.

But Kendra wasn’t about to take no for an answer. She called on the town to help her raise money for the library.

It took a long time and many bake sales, car washes, and grants, but Kendra finally collected enough money to build her library! And because she hired an independent contractor, instead of the town contractor, the library shot up almost overnight.

The officials that tried to keep her down were so pleased, they offered to let Kendra cut the ribbon on opening day. “As if I wouldn’t,” she thought.

Whales of all ages rushed through the doors and admired the shelves and shelves of books. No one touched them, though. They were waiting for Kendra.

She carefully selected one and slowly opened it. Disappointment spread over her face. Not a word could be read! The water was causing all the ink to run!

The ink started drifting around in the current and some got in Kendra’s eye. Within days she had developed a nasty eye infection.

The infection spread to her brain, and it wasn’t long before she succumbed to it. Kendra was never able to enjoy the library she worked so hard for.

Lolita VS Broadway

“Lolita VS Broadway”… A Tragic Whale Story

All her life, Lolita’s mother made sure she felt special.

She encouraged Lolita to dream big and pushed her to go far.

Lolita could do no wrong.

Which is how Lolita came to believe that her life was limitless. “Mom, I’m not going to college,” she said one day. “I’m going to be a ballet star!”
What could a mother say?“Of course you are, Lolita! You can do anything!”

When Lolita decided to reach beyond her physical limits, her mother was at a loss for words. “And I’m going to dance on Broadway!”

“Lolita, honey,” her mom tried to reason with her. “Whales, we need to stay in the water. To survive.”
Lolita couldn’t be swayed. “I want to dance. On Broadway. I will dance. On Broadway. And Broadway will just have to accommodate me.”

But no Broadway director would take her. Their shows called for nimble, two-legged dancers, not big, clumsy, water dependent whales. She decided to crash a show. “I’ll blow them away! They’ll beg me to dance for them after this!”

Lolita sprang up on stage during a production of Cats. She started strong but soon her dehydrating body began to stiffen.

Lolita had achieved her dream of dancing on Broadway. She would never dance again.

mini tragic whale clutch

Just when I think I can’t come up with any more dead whale ideas, I come up with the mini Tragic Whale clutch:

Coming soon to the (also coming soon) Tragic Whale gift shop!

Vacation, day four :)

A couple of things:

1. Sorry for the poor hand writing that’s featured in this post/story. It’s mine, it’s shameful, and now we can work past it. (Hope you can read it, hahaha.)

2. I finished that t-shirt blanket and FORGOT to take pictures of it! What an idiot, right!? And then I delivered it, still forgetting pictures.

3. I had something else to say but I can’t remember what it is now.

I decided I was going to sew a book but forgot that fabric is floppy. I’ll have to try another one with some heavy interfacing or cardboard in the cover, but I said, “Hey, I’m not going to waste this little book. I’m going to kill a whale in it.” So here we go:

Sorry for the shotty craftsmanship. Hahahaha, I’m not really sorry! I’m just ditzing around over here and sharing it with you. You’re welcome.

I resisted soda today at the Chinese food place at the mall. They had it in cans and everything. I drooled looking at it, then got a bottle of water. And here’s today’s dress!

No pockets, but it’s a good twirling dress (as you can probably tell)!

Bernice and the Big “C”

Bernice and the Big “C”… A Tragic Whale Story

Bernice had been working at the DMV for almost a year and the customers were
beginning to wear on her.

She decided to step out back with a couple of her co-workers while on break.

Within weeks, Bernice was out of work and in the hospital. It was hard for the doctors to determine the cause of her symptoms.

Finally, they discovered the problem. Bernice was suffering from cancer.

Bernice didn’t know what to do. Not wanting a slow death surrounded by white coats, she ravaged her hospital room and swallowed every pill she could find.

Unfortunately, the doctor was only moments away from telling her that he had mixed up her X-ray with another patient’s.

The Loneliest Whale

This story was inspired by a REAL LIFE tragic whale story. The poor thing sings too high and doesn’t have any whale friends. To read the full article, click here!

The Loneliest Whale… A Tragic Whale Story

 

Ernest swam the seas all day, singing his whale song. He imagined he sounded like a tuba.

 

For some reason, though, none of the girl whales would give Ernest the time of day.

 

Ernest’s song became a song of sorrow. He spent his days in the ocean alone.

 

One day, Ernest met a friendly submarine. The sub slapped a tracking device on him and took off.

 

Ernest was confused, but because he didn’t know what the tracking device was and it didn’t hurt him, he went on his way.

 

Sometime later, the submarine returned and introduced itself as Ronald. He explained that Ernest was singing at a much higher frequency than all of the other whales.

 

“What if we record your song and play it back at a much lower frequency?” Ronald suggested. Ernest jumped at the idea and the two set off together.

 

For the first time in Ernest’s life, he was proud to hear his song. He even attracted the attention of a girl whale!

 

But she fell in love with Ronald and they swam off together, leaving Ernest alone again.

 

Ernest died of a lonely, broken heart.

Margo the Cargo Whale

Margo the Cargo Whale… A Tragic Whale Story

It was a cheery day at sea when Margo the Whale realized her life was purposeless.

She’d have to come up with something to justify her life. Otherwise, she was afraid, she might wither away.

She tried becoming a bird catcher, but she felt too guilty imprisoning her friends.

The next obvious choice was a hair dresser, but whales have no hair to style and no hands to style with.

Things were getting rough. “Oh!” thought Margo. “I can sell cell phones! Maybe this is my true calling!”

Margo took a break from her search. What could she do with her life that was both satisfying and helpful to others? She frowned, deep in thought.

Then it came to her!
Margo would become… a Cargo Whale!

Trailing behind small ocean liners, Margo the cargo Whale could fill her life with meaning and purpose.

But the cargo began to block her breathe hole. And it became quite heavy.

Margo’s cargo crushed and suffocated her.

 

t was a cheery day at sea when Margo the Whale realized her life was purposeless.

Chloe in Love

Chloe in Love… A Tragic Whale Story

 

Ever since she was a young thing, Chloe wanted to be loved.

 

She had her first kiss in the second grade with a charming little boy whale by the name of Theodore.

 

He moved away soon after.

Theodore promised to write big, choppy letters with a misshapen, second-grader’s alphabet as often as possible. Chloe promised to dictate legible responses to her dad as he typed them on the computer for her.

Theodore’s plane crashed. All perished.

It took a long time and many years, but Chloe was finally able to stop crying and move on with her life. Albert was her new Theodore, and she promptly started wearing makeup.

At 28, Albert was ten years her senior and an international business phenomenon. He traveled the world on a daily basis. Terrified of planes, Albert always traveled by boat.

Chloe was sure Albert would propose to her, they were SO in love!

Meanwhile, somewhere in the North Atlantic…

Albert’s ship was crashing into an iceberg. Considering first that the ship was rumored to be unsinkable, and second that everyone on board was a whale, it was a mystery as to how they all perished.

But they did.

Chloe slumped into a terrible depression. She lost vast amounts of weight and became, accidently, whale-orexic.

Her parents sent her to rehab to get whale-y again.

It took two years, but Chloe was finally back to her old self. Plus, she’d met, and fallen in love with, a very attractive rehab attendant. His name was Arty.

Chloe had found the love she’d been searching for her entire life. The deaths of Theodore and Albert were blessings in disguise; Arty was the real deal.

Arty was thoughtful and made Chloe laugh. They planned to live happily ever after.

Almost out of nowhere, a shark appeared and gobbled them up. They died together.

Louis’s New Friend

Louis’s New Friend… A Tragic Whale Story

Louis traveled aimlessly on his own for several years before finally stumbling upon a new companion.

 

Judy the Fish had recently lost her entire family to a fishing boat. Louis listened to her story with a sullen look on his face.

Louis informed Judy that all would be fine now; he would keep her as safe as he could. She was so pleased she temporarily changed from purple to red.

She changed back. Louis took a deep breath and dove. Judy followed.

They dove to the deepest part of the sea and warmed their bodies by some heat vents. Judy was glad for the company; Louis was sure he could fall in love.

But Louis, unlike Judy, did not pull oxygen from the water. They were too far down for him to make it to the surface again for air. He smiled his last smile and suffocated.

Judy couldn’t help but feel as though she was doomed to a lonely life of lonesomeness. She gazed down at her dead new friend and debated her next move.

Just then, an Angler fish came out of no-where and charged at Judy!

He speared and ate her. Neither Louis nor Judy were lonely after that.


Hello, I’m Kerry! Maker. Sewist. Fan of all things bright.

July 2020
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It's Fluff! Curious, master napper, likes to try new veggies.


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